i am happy.

I was reading Earl & Ramona's blog and I came upon something that hit me right smack on my heart. It speaks of what I am struggling with, and since Earl put it much better than I could, I am just going to copy and paste. Their blog is earlramona.blogspot.com. Go there to be encouraged.

"In my reading, and from talking with people I notice a huge difference between people who are experiencing God...and those whose Christianity is in all practicality, atheism.....
Maybe I'm more frustrated with what I see in myself. When I fear, I am agreeing with Satan. I'm agreeing that God can't fully be trusted.
I read of people who have a life that demonstates "out of intimacy with God to destroy the works of the devil"
That is awesome. I could look inside myself and analyze all this stuff, but I promise you I will never figure it out. That is one of the most destructive things in Christianity, to look inside yourself and focus on all the things you could feel guilty about, or could change, or what ever.

Heb. 12:2. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith"
...this is more than just a good idea.....
It's such a huge temptation for me to look inside myself to think of all the things that I could have done differently in the last 2.5 years, or to fear the upcoming treatment decisions......

The spirit that raised Christ from the dead is inside of us as Christians."

 Last night Eric and I ran into Tim Horton's to get a bite to eat. I ordered a ham & cheese biscuit. "One. Warmed, w/ butter and jam." When the cashier repeated the order she mentioned 3 ham & cheese biscuits. "No ma'am, just one." "With butter?" "Yes ma'am, with butter and jam." As I stood there waiting, waiting, waiting, I observed that an employee was putting together a sandwich on a homestyle biscuit. I assumed she was making the delicacy for herself, since Tim Horton's doesn't offer such a thing on their menu. Breakfast sandwiches, yes, but not others. She slid it into a bag and handed it to me. I was confused and said that I had just ordered a ham & cheese biscuit. "Oh", said she, "would you like one of those too?" I shook my head and told her that it would be fine. As I unwrapped my "ham and cheese biscuit", I found a homestyle biscuit with ranch dressing serving as "butter & jam" ??, many slices of ham and cheese, and bonus materials consisting of lettuce and tomato. It wasn't warmed, but I still enjoyed it immensely and have been able to chuckle over the humor of it all.

 Being in Manitoba, amongst family and friends, is always refreshing. I've enjoyed being with every one of them. Their lives, stories, and laughter revive Loewen spirit within me. It was also a pleasure to be able to attend Stacey & Jessica's wedding. I hope to put up some pictures when I get home.

 I started reading "The Shack", by WM. Paul Young,  on the drive to MB. and have already finished it. Now I have started on "What In The World Is Going On?", a book on the prophecy of the end times, by Dr. David Jeremiah. Have you read either, and if so, what were your thoughts about the content?

 Wishing all of you a beautiful, yet uncomfortable new year. After all, how much growth is there in comfort?